I'm a Maid of Honor ... NOW WHAT?

The bridesmaid plays an important role at the wedding -- the perfect bridesmaid is supportive without being intrusive, offering her help to the bride-to-be at all stages of the wedding planning, and always available for a pre-wedding shopping spree or spa day!

The Maid or Matron of Honor in particular has a vital role in all preparations leading up to the day and plays a supporting role to the bride throughout the wedding day itself.

Here’s a guide to what you can expect to have to do during the wedding countdown;

Twelve to nine months to go
You may be asked to be involved in discussions and decisions in the planning stages and to be used as a sounding board for the bride’s ideas right from the start. Your main duty is to be the bride’s personal assistant: someone who can be relied on to chase vendors if required, or just to calm her down when stress gets the better of her. An important task for any Maid of Honor is to be an honest yet gentle critic when it comes to choosing the bride’s gown. Make sure she gives you some idea of what she is looking for. Then be constructive about the styles and colors that suit her best.

Outfits
Along with helping the bride select her dress, as Maid of Honor you likely be involved in choosing outfits for yourself and the other attendants. Ask the bride to tell you the colors and styles she’s thinking of, and offer to do some preliminary shopping with her. You can be especially helpful by getting the other bridesmaids to fittings on time.

Six to four months to go
If the bride’s trying out a new beauty or fitness regime before the wedding, your support will be very welcome! If she’s going to “bridal boot camp” or has taken up jogging, try to go along to keep up her morale, or at the very least, offer what encouragement you can.

Having a makeover is always a fun way to spend a morning or afternoon. Try out some new brands or even make-up artists for the big day and see what suits you, or just plain enjoy yourselves doing something girlie, a pedicure perhaps?

You might be asked to act as an intermediary if difference of opinion occurs, perhaps between the bride and her parents or parents-in-laws. Hopefully this won’t be necessary, but disagreements do happen from time to time, and your support will mean the world to the bride-to-be.

Now’s also the time to offer your help in planning a luncheon for the brides attendants. This can be held at the brides home, her parents home, or even a restaurant. Brides often use the attendants luncheon to give a small gift or token of appreciation to attendants.

Bridal Showers
Most brides will appreciate a bridal shower, which you as the Maid or Matron of Honor may host. A Sunday brunch, an afternoon tea, perhaps cocktails, almost any theme from lingerie to linens will be appreciated, especially by the first time bride. Before beginning plans for any shower, it’s always a good idea to ask the bride herself if she’s aware of anyone throwing her a shower. If you do host a shower, feel free to ask the bride what kind of shower she’d like, and whether or not she’d like it to be coed so that her groom can join in the fun. Be sure to review the guest list with the bride to ensure no one's overlooked.

The day before the wedding
If circumstances allow, you may want to spend the day or evening before the wedding with the bride, especially if she’s nervous or spending the night apart from the groom. Encourage her to talk about what she thinks tomorrow will mean to her -- the day itself will go so fast it’s a good idea to get some of the contemplation in beforehand. Be sure to ask if there’s any last minute details she needs you to take care of. Above all, your job as Maid of Honor is to calm and support the bride in any way possible.

Emergency kit
I’m a big believer in having a wedding emergency kit. One never knows when a button will pop, a headache will crop up, a stubborn strap will refuse to stay hidden. Here’s my suggestion for what to pack into your emergency kit;

* An extra pair or stockings or panty hose
* Tissues
* Baby wipes
* Breath mints
* Safety pins
* Comb/brush
* Lipstick
* Nail file
* Clear nail polish
* Hair spay
* Spare earring backs
* Double sided tape
* Aspirin/Ibuprofen
* Pen
* Small sewing kit with two needles

So there you have it. Your job as Maid or Matron of Honor is done, the bride and groom have said their vows and everyone’s off to the reception. Have you a prepared a toast to the happy couple? Nothing will be more appreciated than your sincere wishes of happiness. You’ve done a grand job … that smile on the brides face is (at least partially) thanks to you! Sip some champagne, slip off your high heels and take a much deserved rest.

Well done!